The fort diary of Useless

The Saxon Shore forts were built at estuaries and inlets. I was built at a desk. It is not the same. English Heritage: Roman Coastal Defences and the Saxon Shore, by Paul Pattison

Pevensey was the biggest Saxon Shore fort. I am the smallest thing in the pencil case. We are both famous for something. English Heritage: Pevensey Castle

Over 10,000 oyster shells were found at Caister. I found one crisp in my pencil case and called it a museum. English Heritage: History of Caister Roman Fort

Reculver’s towers were left standing as a sea-mark for ships. I am left on the desk as a warning to pencils. English Heritage: History of Reculver Towers and Roman Fort

Half of Reculver fort has been lost to the sea. Half of me has been lost to spelling mistakes. English Heritage: History of Reculver Towers and Roman Fort

The arch at Richborough weighed around 20,000 tonnes. I weigh around one crumb. On a good day. English Heritage: Gateway to Britannia, Richborough’s Monumental Arch

Mr Rolfe’s workmen dug 5 metres into the arch’s foundation and gave up. I dig into homework and give up much sooner. English Heritage: Gateway to Britannia, Richborough’s Monumental Arch

Portchester’s walls had 20 towers jutting out, and 14 survive. I had 20 corners. None survive. English Heritage: Roman Coastal Defences and the Saxon Shore, by Paul Pattison

Burgh Castle’s west wall tumbled into the marshes long ago. My west end tumbled off the desk last Tuesday. English Heritage: History of Burgh Castle Roman Fort

French prisoners set up a theatre in Portchester’s keep in 1810. My only show is called “Rubbing Out”. It is very short. English Heritage: Portchester Castle, history and stories

In 1940, machine-gun posts were hidden in Pevensey’s walls. I hide in the gap behind the radiator. Nobody has found me yet. English Heritage: Pevensey Castle

Nobody knows why the Notitia uses the name “Saxon Shore”. Nobody knows why I am called Useless either. Please don’t tell me. English Heritage: Roman Coastal Defences and the Saxon Shore, by Paul Pattison

Brancaster had an arena for training cavalry horses. I have a ruler for training pencils to stand up straight. English Heritage: Roman Coastal Defences and the Saxon Shore, by Paul Pattison

The sea was once right up to Pevensey’s walls, and now it is a mile away. My sharpener was once right next to me. Now it is at school. English Heritage: History of Pevensey Castle